Previous Sponsors of Bill Cheswick's Home Page

• Disk Gruntle®! This novel software monitors your system for successful hacking/spyware/worm/trojan attacks and quickly emits a distinctive groan, perhaps helping users identify dangerous behaviors.
• Get It Done® brand mild OCD induction compound, for the too sloppy, too laid-back spouse. A little compulsion is a good thing!
• Brought to you by Starbucks new luncheon menu, featuring a hot dog with coffee in it, called franks sumatra.
• The American Grammarian Society. We use first person plural.
• Seep Hole® hotel peep hole deconvolver.
• The Physics Lovers Society reminds you to remind your valentine that 90 percent of her mass is relativistic¹.
• Pleasant Placebos of Santa Cruz, offering the highest purity, all natural organic super-free placebos, unlike those generic brands. Available in many forms for maximum efficiency: shots, lozenges, suppositories, and, of course, easy-to-swallow capsules.

  Pleasant placebos are only available by prescription, so ask your doctor if they are right for you. Now available in pediatric doses, too!

• Time to fire those Dementors? Check out Siilco's "There's no u in team" service.
• Yerwae Unseasoned Comestibles, low entropy foods for picky eaters.
• Plebiscite brand toothpaste for teens, guaranteed to help you win any popularity contest,
  and by
  mother-approved Oedipus Wax cleaning products;
  and by
  the driveway-clearing services of Frost Heave the Snow Man.
  
• Brought to you by Siilco's PhoneBone^® IP telephony backbone.
  
• Also, when you are thinking of racing bears, remember: Sloan's Teddy wins the race!
  
• This web page sponsored by Karl's Kandy Korner, now featuring chocolate and peanutbutter candies in the shape of primates. Ask for Rhesus' Pieces.
• Brought to you by Kalm Kat static suppression systems for your cat. Winter in northern climes is a terrible time for your cat. He doesn't understand low humidity, he just knows that affectionate strokes carry rude surprises. Friends become attackers, and warm laps disquieting. The Kalm Kat system employs grounding collars, corona discharge points, and a patented mist system to keep your kitty well-grounded and content.
• The next time your are visiting Germany, why not visit our pleasant little town, Ausfahrt. Just follow the highway signs. Ausfahrt Tourism Bureau.
• The Vegetarian Club serves only animals that eat vegatables. "Salad is what food eats."
• Nasa Frickassee offers tenderized, roasted birds when in season. You have your choice of rare (1000m), medium (500m), and well done (200m) with its special spices. Not responsible for birds closer than 100m. Extra tender available only following shuttle launches.
• PyroZap brand shredders. Are spies picking useful data out of your dumpster? Having troubles getting people to shred sensitive documents? Try the new PyroZap brand shredder! It is so much fun to use, your employees seek spare scraps of paper, just to watch it work! Now DOT, EPA, OSHA, and NFPA Class C approved. Your secrets are safe with PyroZap!
• Your local stock exchange, now having a 20%-off sale on your favorite equities. Get 'em while they're cheap!
• The Center for Meme Control reports a recurrence of the "small comets" theory.
• MandelHides, for genetically programmed Mandelbrot sets on a classy bovine chassis.
• Suture Self, when home surgery is the right choice.
• For all your drive-in mortuary needs, it's Remains to be Seen. Drive into one of our convenient offices today.
• Be sure to visit Diner Won't you Blow on Route 23.
• The Society for the Preservation of Ancient Character Sets reminds you that RAD50 was found in DEC computers long before it was located on chromosome 14.
• Terry's Flashless Batmans. Our Batmans are ferior to all the rest!
• The Rose Suchuck Ladder Co.
• We're CompuDigiDataMatic: ask us about our full line of buzzword-compliant products.
• The CLODI Foundation needs your support. Every year, CLODI (Catastrophic Loss of Diaper Integrity) strikes millions of our most promising citizens. Won't you help?
• Chaperone Brand Sqeaky Mattresses, another fine product for concerned parents.
• The International Brotherhood of Electronic Mail Postmasters: solidarity through proper return addresses. Per RFC ad astra.
• The Static Route Council says, ``don't be fooled by fake RIP packets and hijacked BGP links. Use static routes often!''
• Brought to you by Obscurity Brokers specializing in the secure trade of little-known stocks. Remember, you can rely on securities through Obscurity.
• Brought to you by The Upper Left Light Corporation, illuminating virtual buttons and boxes from the upper left since 1988.
• Also brought to you by the 3D Bathroom Tile Company, makers of random-dot 3D stereograms for tiles above urinals.
• Special sponsor is Binford Tools, makers of the Binford 3000 Dynamic Packet Filtering Gateway. Ask about Binford's Stage service, the latest in our line of commercial power munitions.
• The Tee Shirt Museum. Featuring late 20th century tee shirt art. Includes the actual tee shirts (now size extra small from many washings) from the extensive collections of such famous personalities as Tom Duff and Peter Honeyman.
• The Usenix Juggling BOF. Thank you for buffering!
• The Cellular Automata Rights Council begs you to help end the carnage brought on by John Horton Conway and his ilk. We need more funding to support creatures who will otherwise die if they don't have two or three neighbors! You can help: change or disable the ``screensaver'' on your Sun workstation now! Must these lifeforms continue to perish for your entertainment?
• Invisible Ads, Inc. Subtle messages for subtle people.

¹Wilczek, F. In search of symmetry lost. Nature 443, 239–247 (2005)